Seasoned.
Tucked away in the courtyard of Corrigan Station, I had long heard about Sauced but never realized how close the burger stand was to my office.
Published September 23, 2021
Last Friday, I was sitting at my desk when a group of co-workers returned from lunch. As they walked past, I asked where they had gone. “We just walked over to Sauced” was the reply.
Since setting up shop last fall, I have time and again heard whispers about this new burger and chicken joint in the Crossroads. When it has come up in conversation, the reviews for Sauced had been overwhelmingly positive but in spite of the fanfare, I had never taken the time to visit.
As a #FountainCityFoodie and burger fanatic who lives and works downtown, this would shock many of my closest friends and most loyal readers alike. However, Sauced has been a place that I would often hear about over the past year and then it would fall off my radar, and this cycle of ebbs and flows would just repeat. Much of this was due to a lack of visibility. To be honest, I knew that Sauced was in the Crossroads but I kept forgetting to find out exactly where.
“I knew that Sauced was in the Crossroads, but I kept forgetting to find out exactly where.”
Over the last six weeks, it seems to have been mentioned more and more. I have heard so much about the burgers and chicken sandwiches there. When I heard my co-workers mention how close it was to the office, I knew it was time for me to figure out where Sauced was and try one of Kansas City’s newest burgers for myself. So on Tuesday, I made my way over.
Now, while I had heard the hype about Sauced and their burgers and chicken sandwiches, I was not quite sure what to expect. As I followed the pin on my GPS, I was not even entirely certain where my phone was leading me.
As I walked past the new Academy Bank building at 19th and Main, I walked by an open gate, that I never remember seeing open previously. There it stood in all it’s glory. At the end of the Corrigan Station courtyard sat a small, brilliantly white stand with candy apple red letters declaring itself “SAUCED” and a red drip “sauce” border beneath the counter.
It was about 1:00pm and there was a small line which gave me an opportunity to read the menu board. I always appreciate a short menu because not only does it simplify decision-making, but I have long surmised that if a spot only makes a handful of items, they must make those few items very well.
Tuesday was a beautiful day and I was looking forward to enjoying my lunch outdoors. Everything about Sauced was checking the boxes for me. I loved the location and the concept. I loved that it was a walk-up counter. I loved the urban feel. I found the industrial chic courtyard to be lovely and warm. The gated entry almost made me feel as if I had stumbled on some kind of burger speakeasy. And as already mentioned, I loved the succinct menu board. I salivated at the overwhelming aroma of burnt butter that filled the courtyard which could only mean one more checked box - toasted buns. I could not have been more excited to try this place!
Hidden away between the Academy Bank building and Corrigan Station, this “industrial chic” courtyard made me feel like I had stumbled upon an exclusive and underground lunch spot.
The first time I visit a new spot, I tend to want to try as many menu items as is feasible. It helped that on this particular day, I was really hungry. I decided that I was going to order the Two Hand (double smash burger) and an order of fries. Given their proclivity for chicken, I also decided to order the Chik Bites because I figured this would be a good compromise to try both their chicken and their burgers.
When it was time to place my order, I noticed there was an option to “Brunch It Up” for a dollar so I inquired as to what that meant. The gentleman at the register told me, “Oh that means we add a fried egg and bacon”.
“Bacon and fried egg for only a dollar? Yes, I’ll do that!”
Then the second man behind the counter said, “No, if you want to do bacon and egg, you have to charge $1.50”. I still found this to be a great deal and confirmed the order.
After I had confirmed the add-on, the third employee inside the kiosk, explained that bacon, egg, and cheese were all separate add-ons to a burger. This amounted to a $3 upcharge to my sandwich that I would not have otherwise done. It was quite concerning that a restaurant had three employees on-site and that all three people working had differing definitions for menu jargon that was sure to invoke questions. I cannot be the first person that asked what “brunch it up” meant. The idea that the term could have a different meaning depending on who I placed my order with did not seem like a sustainable menu option for future visits. However, there were a couple people behind me and I didn’t want to hold up the line so I just let it fly.
The Chik Bites were billed as being sold either house-seasoned or drizzled in sauce. The man taking my order encouraged me to try the buffalo sauce so I chose the drizzled option. He also asked me if I’d like a side of ranch with the buffalo bites. I confirmed that as well. What he did not tell me, is that both of these options were also an upcharge. I did not realize that until I had my receipt.
“I cannot be the first person that asked what ‘brunch it up’ meant. The idea that the term could have a different meaning depending on who I placed my order with did not seem like a sustainable menu option for future visits.”
I received my order number and posted up at a standing high-top in the courtyard near the ordering counter where I could watch all the action. I actually really enjoy watching people cook. It was a gorgeous day, I had my Spotify playlist queued up, and I was happy to people-watch in the courtyard while I waited.
10 minutes passed and I realized that none of the people who preceded me had received their orders. Then it became 15 minutes. After 20 minutes, two of the three people who ordered before me received their food. Shortly after, #38 was called and my lunch was ready! While happy for my lunch to be ready, I was a little confused for two reasons:
#35 had not yet been called. They had ordered a burger and fries and there was no reason why my lunch would be ready before theirs.
I had been watching the kitchen for my entire wait. With the French fry warmer being located immediately next to the register, not one new batch of French fries had been cooked in the 25 minutes since I had first gotten in line. This was concerning.
I walked up, grabbed my bottle of water and greasy white paper bag, and went to find a seat.
Once seated, I emptied out my bag so I could use it as a placemat for my meal. I pulled out the fries and Chik Bites and set aside my dipping sauce cups of ranch dressing and ketchup. My burger had been haphazardly tossed in the bottom of the bag and so I had to partially reconstruct my sandwich. In spite of the long wait and the ordering confusion, my burger looked incredible and my excitement had returned. It was clearly evident that the hype surrounding the burgers was well-earned. It had to be!
If that is not an Instagram-worthy burger, I don’t know what is! It would be impossible to believe that such a photogenic sandwich could be anything less than delicious.
My Two Hand was a double smash patty burger with pepperjack cheese, sauteed onions, lettuce, tomatoes, and dijon aioli on a buttered, toased brioche bun. Having taken a few photos, I was eager to dig in. I grabbed the Two Hand and took my first bite.
It could not have been more of a letdown.
On the first bite, there was a half-second where I thought “This is a fantastic burger” but then my mind quickly changed. The brioche was pillowy and soft but then I realized that the “toasted” bun was not really toasted at all. Instead, it had been slathered in melted butter and slightly warmed on the flat-top. A toasted brioche bun would have been incredible. An uncooked brioche bun would have been great. Instead, this butter-laden hybrid offered by Sauced was slimy and unwelcome.
The patties themselves were similarly deceptive. They had the look and texture that were idyllic of what I would want in a smash burger - juicy and meaty with a browned, crispy edge. The burger patties had a bite. There was an overwhelming taste of black pepper, and other seasonings, that gave the burgers an edge. I took a second bite and realized something, the heat was building. This was not a good heat, or a sandwich that was intended in any way to be spicy. No, this was the unmistakable burn of food that had been grossly over-seasoned. That dose of seasoning had not merely been “a bite”, it was an infestation. Soon enough, all I could taste was black pepper and assorted spices.
“Ironically, at an establishment called Sauced, there was no sauce for my burger.”
Now, on the bright side, the fried egg and the bacon were actually cooked to perfection. (I guess that’s what a three dollar investment gets you!) The bacon was the right balance between crisp and tender so that it broke apart in each bite of the burger. The over-easy fried egg was exactly what I hope for on a burger. The yolk was just runny enough to provide all the flavor and texture I wanted without any of the mess of a sunny side egg. Normally, I would have been ecstatic for this but on this sandwich, I wish the egg had been far runnier. The sauce of the yolk seemed to be one of the few things capable of quenching the hellfire of the burger seasoning, which was only intensifying at an alarming rate.
The pepperjack cheese was perfectly melted. And the quality of the produce was evident. The spinach greens and the tomato were clearly fresh. In fact, looking at the burger, the overall quality of the ingredients were exactly what one would expect of an artisan burger joint. Unfortunately, I could not taste any of them because the black pepper pandemic within my mouth was spreading. I also could not taste the sauteed onions or the dijon aioli. However, that was because the cook at Sauced had neglected to put sauteed onions on my burger. He had also skimped on the aioli. Ironically, at an establishment called Sauced, there was no sauce for my burger.
Even if these ingredients had been there, it would have been a waste as the seasoning would have likely overpowered them as well.
In fact, the one topping I could still taste as the burger seasoning multiplied in potency were the very fresh, tart dill pickle slices layered on the bottom of the bun. This was surprising both because I was beginning to question if I would taste anything but this seasoning ever again and because my sandwich was not supposed to have pickles on it. I loathe pickles. The fact that the cooks had added pickles to my sandwich and that they were the only topping I could taste after my first two bites, only added insult to the quite literal injury to my palate.
It is important to note that I am a person who LOVES spicy food and I typically use the term “gum-tingling” to describe a pleasant spice or a well-balanced hot entrée. This burger was not intended to be spicy and I would not describe the heat of this seasoning as spice. Instead, it was an absolute barrage of black pepper and other robust spices that was so overwhelming, I felt as if someone had dumped half a shaker of pepper directly into my mouth.
“... not one new batch of French fries had been cooked in the 25 minutes since I had first gotten in line”
I sought solace in the sack of seasoned fries from the savory bombardment of seasoning from the burger. In a second bit of irony, the fries, which were listed on the menu as seasoned fries, were covered in an orange dust but lacked any kind of seasoning flavor. In all fairness, it is possible that the scalding burger rub simply cancelled out what was on the fries. However, it seemed that the one menu item that was supposed to be seasoned, was the only thing that wasn’t.
Predictably, based on my kitchen observations, the fries were stale, cold, and stiff. When dipped in the house-made ketchup (which was tangy, sweet, and more reminiscent of a stir fry sauce than a ketchup) they did seem to pacify the burger’s onslaught on my tongue. I ate more of those limp potato sticks than I care to admit. It was nice to have something icy cold to dull the pain. But, alas, it was a fool’s errand. The wrath of the burger seasoning seemed eternal. Not even the chilled unseasoned seasoned fries could hold off the seasoned burger forever.
I reached for my final lifeline - the Chik Bites. They had been listed as fried, chunks of chicken that could be drizzled in sauce or house-seasoned. As mentioned, I had elected to have them drizzled in buffalo sauce. Also, as previously mentioned, in spite of being advertised as seasoned or drizzled, there was an up-charge for the drizzled bites. What I received were neither “drizzled” or “bites” What had been advertised as chunks were actually incredibly skinny scraps or strands of chicken that had been drenched in buffalo sauce. At last, a dish befitting of the “Sauced” name! I reached my hand into the soggy, orange bag.
The strips were tender and the chicken seemed to have solid quality. I was immediately grateful for the vinegary profile of the buffalo sauce and the long-awaited escape from the seasonings of that blasted burger. That brief episode of relief was rudely interrupted by a robust burst of flavor that was immediately followed by a burning at the back of my throat and on the roof of my mouth. I had opted for drizzled over seasoned but Sauced had clearly opted for doused AND seasoned. Even worse, the seasoning on the “bites”, WAS THE SAME HORRIFYING BLEND FROM THE BURGER!
I saw a bag of chicken and stupidly, I opened the gates, welcomed that blend of seasonings into my mouth, and gave black pepper and friends the foothold they needed to wage a two-front assault on my mouth.
The drizzled Chik Bites at Sauced were neither drizzled or bites.
My sinuses, throat, and gums burning, I threw away what was left of my lunch and quickly exited the courtyard. As I walked up to the trash can by the stand, I realized that the red-drip bordering on the Sauced kiosk was not cute or clever branding. It was instead what I expected my gums must look like after consuming that burger.
As I walked back to the office, I found myself praying for the Avatar’s return as only he could defeat the Fire Nation that was warring within my taste buds. Without that lifeline, I sought the next best thing on my walk back. I swung by a convenience store and grabbed a bottle of milk.
Relief at last! Or so I thought. Silly me. I had stumbled upon the hydra of seasoning blends. Every time I seemed to cut off one head, two more rose in its place. With my milk gone, I spent the next few hours in the office chewing gum hoping to keep the spice blend at bay. I mused that perhaps the restaurant should rebrand themselves as “Seasoned.” if they were hoping for truth in advertising.
When the clock hit 5:00pm, my gums were still tingling and my tongue was still smoldering. I raced home, anxious to brush my teeth and tongue and finally rid myself of these flavors. Around 9:45pm, my second brushing of the night, the seasoning seemed to finally dissipate and the nightmare, at last, was over.
Even as I write and recap a lunch that I ate less than 48 hours ago, I find myself confused. Everything about this place was right. The location, the fanfare, the concept, the quality of ingredients, and even the appearance of the menu items themselves seemed right. Over a dozen people responded to my Instagram story (posted prior to my first bite) about how amazing the burger and fries looked. As they say, looks can be deceiving. Everything about Sauced checked my boxes and I write this confused as to how something as simple as a burger and fries went so horribly wrong. I write confused as to how that torturous flavor could linger for so long. I write wondering how something that looked so amazing could cause such anguish.
“I found myself praying for the Avatar’s return as only he could defeat the Fire Nation that was warring within my taste buds.”
I have a rule that I never write about a restaurant that I have not visited at least three times. Knowing the challenges of the food service industry, I always exercise extreme patience in these instances. There is a part of me that believes that I should give all restaurants a second chance. That part is overruled by the rest of me that understands that every once in a while, rules have to be broken.
The truth is, I do not think I will ever be able to give Sauced a second chance. When I was in high school I attempted the Cinnamon Challenge. This past May, a friend of mine and I poured a large drop of “Da Bomb” Hot Sauce (as made famous by the YouTube series The Hot Ones) directly on our tongues. I mention this because I remember those very specific burns. I remember how awful each of these instances were. I remember how long those sensations lingered. Yet, I know that re-living both of those experiences would be preferable to ever biting into a burger from Sauced again.
If Indiana Jones taught me anything, it’s that some things are not meant to be discovered. When I walked through that gate at Corrigan Station, I thought I had uncovered a hidden gem. Instead, I found a hidden dreg. Thankfully, this blight is hidden away, out of sight, and out of mind. Although, while hidden, I highly doubt that the little white kiosk and the worst burger patty in Kansas City will ever be off my radar again.
The 411
Sauced.
1881 Main Street
Kansas City, Missouri
HOURS: Monday & Tuesday - 11:30am - 2:30pm; Wednesday through Saturday - 11:30am - 8:00pm
https://u-hungry.com/sauced-intro
“So, What Do I Get?” Bottled Water. Lots and lots of bottled water.
A NOTE FROM THE WRITER: I do not delight in writing a review like this. I started writing about Kansas City, and primarily its food scene, because I love helping to expose a new audience to amazing small businesses in our city. I love uncovering our city’s hidden gems, shining a light on them, and telling those stories. However, in doing so, I feel that I also have a responsibility to tell people where not to spend their hard-earned dollars or at minimum, places to be wary of. Additionally, not all stories have happy endings. It is clear that I tried to have some fun in writing about what was an awful dining experience. Do not mistake my creativity for an exaggeration or fiction. I did not exaggerate the flavor profiles or physical characteristics of any of the items that I ate nor did I exaggerate or elaborate upon the timelines provided. The restaurant did truly go over half an hour without a fresh batch of fries and that seasoning blend did linger for nearly nine hours. I actually have a fair amount of burned taste buds on my tongue FROM A SEASONING BLEND! I did not write this because I delight in dragging down a small business. I wrote this because I do not want anyone else to have my experience. In a city with so many incredible burger options, there is no reason to even give this place a try. Unless of course, you are just that curious. Still confused by the meal I ate myself, the torture of this spice blend almost has to be experienced to be believed. For me, that repellent flavor will live in infamy.
