A Most Dangerous Game
Since they opened their doors in 2013, Hi-Dive Lounge’s vintage vending machine has been a star attraction.
In these uncertain times, disKCovery encourages all readers to adhere to social distancing guidelines and be safe as you patronize small business. Please consume responsibly. #supportloKCal
Published January 22, 2021
Woohoo! The weekend is almost here! In more normal times, Friday might mean meeting up with friends for a post-work happy hour and seeing where the night takes you. For my friends and I, one of the places in our rotation has long been the Hi-Dive Lounge on West 39th. More recently, Hi-Dive has become a place I frequent given the exceptional job the bar does of enforcing capacity limits, providing a clean environment, and instituting and adhering to social distancing guidelines.
Since 2013, the Hi-Dive Lounge has been a neighborhood bar that offers cold drinks and tasty bar food at a fantastic value. While the bar’s charm and phenomenal service keep regulars coming back; it is the decades-old vending machine behind the bar that makes Hi-Dive a must-visit.
Billed as “the only can beer machine in town”, Hi-Dive’s Mystery Machine offers more hijinks than Shaggy’s van ever could. The novelty is straightforward. Hi-Dive offers “mystery beers” for $2.50 all day, every day (well except for during Happy Hour when the prices drops to $2!). Once you place your order, the bartender hits the button and whatever can rattles out of the steel behemoth is what you get.
Within the vintage machine is an assortment of canned brews that vary greatly in quality. Busch Light, Milwaukee’s Best, Old Stag, Pabst Blue Ribbon (PBR), Natural Light, and Genesee beers are among the frequent entrants. On the other end of the spectrum, I have received Goose Island 312 Wheat, Shock Top Shandy, Honey Brown, and assorted craft IPAs on numerous occasions.
But what happens when you order mystery beers from your server, and they bring you and your friends a tray that includes an Old Style, Naturdays, and a Rolling Rock? How do you determine who gets which beer?
“Life is more fun if you play games.”
Sure, you could just take turns letting each person decide which beer is theirs. Or perhaps, the server will place a beer in front of each person and you can just call it the luck of the draw. But, what fun is that? My favorite author as a child, Roald Dahl, remarked that, “Life is more fun if you play games.” I could not agree more. To truly experience this sweet science, the sport of kings, that is, mystery beers at the Hi-Dive, it is imperative to have a Mystery Beer Draft. Until you have known the thrill of receiving the first overall pick (especially in a round with a clear-cut favorite) or the agony of being saddled with the beer nobody else wanted; you will never truly appreciate the two and a half buck can in your hand.
There are a number of ways that you can set your draft order. Below are a handful of games and ideas that are proven winners.
Phone It in
What You Need To Play: Friends & A Smartphone
Some of the simplest ways to determine your draft order involve using a smartphone. Here are a few ideas but feel free to use your imagination!
Random Number Generation
Go around the table and have everyone select a number between 1 and 100. Then ask Alexa, Bixby, Cortana, or Siri to, “Select a random number between 1 and 100.” The closest person to the number provided wins. Some will choose to go clockwise from the winner to select the second person. Personally, I would do the entire order based off proximity to the number. “The Price Is Right” rules should always be in effect! (Closest number without going over).
You can also ask your smartphone assistant to, “Select a random number between 0 and 9”. If the last digit of someone’s phone number matches the number given, they get to go first. Another version involves asking to, “Select a random number between 1 and 26” and corresponding that to the first letter of a person’s name. However you choose to randomly select numbers or assign value, continue to do this until all beers have been selected.
Chwazi
If you have a group of five people or fewer, Chwazi may be the way to go. Available in the App Store and the Google Play Store, Chwazi is a fun, interactive way to randomly choose who goes first. Once you download the app, you will input how many people are in the group IN ADDITION to yourself (for example, if there are four total people at the table, you would input “three”). Next, everyone puts their finger on the screen and the app does the rest! Keep your fingers in place until a winner has been highlighted by Chwazi. You can continue to do this for subsequent picks until all beers have been selected.
Heads Up!
Now we’re getting the competitive juices flowing! Heads Up! has been an incredibly popular party game the past few years. This one is fairly self-explanatory. Play some Heads Up! in between each round. The highest score picks their beer first. The second highest score goes next, and so on.
If you are unfamiliar with the app, you can find it in the App Store and the Google Play Store.
The smartphone app Chwazi takes all the work out of selecting who goes first. Have everyone place their finger on the screen (left) and Chwazi will highlight a winner (right).
The Clock
What You Need To Play: Friends & A Watch / Clock With A Second Hand
For this game, you will need to have a clock with a second hand readily available. Divide 60 by the number of people in your group and assign a range. For a four person table, everyone would have a range of 15 seconds (1-15, 16-30, etc.). When your beers arrive and it’s time to select a beer; look at the clock. Whoever’s range corresponds to where the second hand lies gets to select their beer first. The subsequent range gets to go second, and so on.
Get The Server Involved
What You Need To Play: Friends, A Server, & An Ability To Read The Room
This is fully dependent on how busy your server is and frankly, who your server is. Some will welcome the interaction with tables, while others, especially in this climate, will want to limit their time with you. Here’s a couple of ideas for involving your server:
Similar to random number generation, have everyone pick a number before the server arrives with your beers and then ask the server to select a number.
Ask the server to pick a month until one corresponds to the birth month of someone in your party. In the event that multiple people have the same birth month, ask him/her to pick a number between 1 and the last day of said month to see whose birthday is closest. Continue to select by whose birthday is closest to the winning party’s.
Have the server come up with a trivia question about themselves and see who can get the answer.
About two years ago, on an especially slow night, the server proposed playing “Odds and Evens” with my friends and I until we had a winner. Many of Hi-Dive’s servers have helped out tables with their draft order in the past, but please, be mindful of the current restrictions, your server’s personal preferences, and how busy they may be before enlisting their help.
With a mix of desirable craft beers, easy drinking yard beers, and a hodgepodge of bottom-dwelling brews, letting the Mystery Machine decide your fate is a thrilling gambit.
Medusa
What You Need To Play: Friends
In Medusa, every person in your group closes their eyes, and bows their head down. As a group, your table counts to three. On the count of three, everybody must look up at another player. If you and another player are making eye contact with one another, you are both out of the game. This game continues until the last person standing gets to select their choice of mystery beer.
Spelling bee rules apply! So, in a round where everyone is eliminated at once, all of that round’s participants are back in for the following round. In the event that a game of Medusa comes down to two people, an elementary school style staring contest determines the winner.
Fingers
What You Need To Play: Friends
Fingers is one of my two preferred ways to determine mystery beer selection. When the round of drinks is set on the table, all participants place their index finger on the table. Determine who gets to guess first (whoever’s birthday is the closest is a common one). That person, “The Guesser”, will say “Ready. Set. Go.” and then immediately provide a number. On the word “Go” all participants need to leave their finger on the table or lift it in the air. If the number guessed matches the number of fingers still on the table, that guesser gets to select their beer. If not, they are still in the game. From there, the game moves clockwise with each person getting a chance to be the guesser until all beers have been selected. For example, if the guesser says “Ready. Set. Go. Two!” and three fingers are still on the table, they do not get to select and it goes to the next person. If they had guessed three, they would select a beer and then be out of the game for that round.
For the following round of beers, the person who was the guesser in the previous round guesses last. This means the person who previously guessed second, goes first. This rotation continues for each round the rest of the night.
If you are feeling especially insane, you can order one fewer beer each round than there are people in your group and ask the server for a fresh pint glass with each round. For instance, with a four person table, you would order three beers and a pint glass. As each beer is selected, the drinker would pour roughly one third of their beer in the glass before they take a sip. Whoever takes The Sacko (last place) ends up being stuck with the blended beer. This added caveat is definitely not for the faint of heart.
In Fingers, the goal is to guess how many fingers will remain on the table. In this example, if the guesser had said, “two”, they would get to select their drink of choice.
Credit Card Roulette
What You Need To Play: Friends, Their Credit/Debit Cards, & A Hat
As the saying goes, I saved the best for last. Credit Card Roulette is not for everyone but when I have friends who are willing to play, it is my mystery beer go-to. For this most dangerous of games, you will need a hat, bowl, bag, or something you can draw out of. For the sake of this example, let’s go with a hat.
The game begins with everyone throwing their credit or debit card into a hat. Each card is drawn out one at a time. As each card is drawn, it is placed in a line on the table. The owner of the final card drawn out of the hat gets to select their beer first. However, it is a double edged sword as the person who selects their beer first, hands their “winning card” to the server in order to pick up the cost of the entire round. The person whose card was selected second to last picks second, and on down the line until the first card selected is stuck with the final beer. Most who play Credit Card Roulette will grant the “winner” immunity from being the last card selected in the next round, so they are not caught holding the bag twice in a row. Sometimes you will get off scot-free for the night, and other times, you might have to foot the bill for two or three rounds.
Regardless, every time you play Credit Card Roulette, you will have fun.
These are but a few of the many ways you can determine who gets that coveted first pick of the draft. No matter how you choose to orchestrate your own draft, or select your beers; if you are at the Hi-Dive Lounge enjoying mystery beers with good friends, then I must congratulate you. You have already won the game.
Does your crew have your own rules to the games given above? Do you have other ways to determine the order of your Mystery Beer Draft? Share your insight in the comments below!
The 411:
Hi-Dive Lounge
1411 W. 39th St.
Kansas City, Missouri
HOURS: Sunday through Saturday - 11:30am until 10:00pm (COVID-19 Curfew)
www.hidivelounge.com
”So, What Do I Get?”: Mystery beers at $2.50 a pop. Duh! Did you even read the article? But seriously, they also have some solid wings (big fan of the Asian Wings), good sandwiches, and the house-made jalapeno chips are dynamite.
